nature

Can I see your bobo?

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The Log Farm

Thanksgiving was on Monday, October 9th, and it was the perfect autumn day for the holiday — cold, cloudy, and raining. Before that, it had already been raining for days and the kids had been stuck at home, so we thought it would be refreshing to spend the afternoon outdoors — we went to The Log Farm — before coming back home to celebrate the grand turkey.

I’m proud of myself for being efficient. I’d put the turkey in the oven early in the morning knowing that we’d do an afternoon activity, so that by the time we came back home the main dish was already prepped, with only a few side dishes to cook. Timing was perfect; the kids got to spend time outdoors at the farm and supper was ready just in time for hungry bellies.

I didn’t expect to see fellow guests at The Log Farm when we’d arrived, either; after all, it had been raining nonstop throughout the day. But when I saw fellow families bringing in their kids with their rain boots and umbrellas, I felt an immediate sense of comfort and warmth.

“There are other families braving the rain, too,” I thought.

“We’re all in it together.”

The wagon ride this time was really an autumn one. It had been raining and our bums were wet on the seat, and I held an umbrella over Gaia in her car seat the whole way through, but everything felt so right.

The leaves were their quintessential autumn colours; the weather was wet and rainy; the temperature was cold and crisp; and the wind was so relaxing, all worries had been forgotten. It was so cozy that Gaia fell asleep during the wagon ride, too.

Besides playing at his usual play barn, Keaton also fed goats. He loves feeding the animals here every time we visit.

The last activity we did on the farm was walk through scarecrow lane to spot all the funky scarecrows. This was my favourite part of the visit — being purely in nature among trees. With it finally looking and feeling like autumn, I was the happiest version of myself at this very moment.

This was supposed to be a mom giving her two kids a bath. So cute.

Last year, my parents and I had posed with this family of scarecrows (I was pregnant with Gaia).

The farm was about to close, so we had to scurry back shortly after our foresty walk. I really didn’t want to leave so soon.

Pink Lake, Gatineau Park

It was our first time at Pink Lake in Gatineau Park. We got off on the wrong footing — it wasn’t obvious which coordinates to insert in the GPS — but when we came around the second time, we saw a black bear along the side of the road, which retreated back to the forest when it saw us. I was fascinated because it was the first time I’d seen one.

“It’s a sign that we should go back,” my husband said.

It was almost a synchronistic encounter. Before we left the house, I’d read about black bears in Gatineau Park. This is because I like to understand and be aware of my environment and surroundings, and more so as a mom now. Safety is always paramount.

Just as I’d thought, though, it’s indeed often the case that black bears simply avoid human interaction. But, as visitors and guests visiting their habitat, it was important for us to be mindful of their home, and essentially, of our own safety.

(We didn’t go back home. We went ahead with our excursion.)

Pink Lake was breathtaking. It wasn’t pink, though. It was named Pink Lake in honour of the Pink family from Ireland who’d settled here back in 1826.

The lake is actually a deep blue-green colour due to the abundance of algae. Moreover, it’s in fact a meromictic lake, which means that the layers of waters don’t mix and mingle.

Looking into the lake was almost like looking into someone’s eyes. There was mystery in the translucence. Seeing the reflection of all the surrounding nature was like seeing a whole universe.

Here you could see the reflection of the clouds and surrounding trees.

The lake was especially beautiful here with its green hue.

We didn’t encounter any black bears during our hike, thankfully. Yet even if nature herself can be unpredictable and unfeeling, the unsettling part of the experience wasn’t that. It was our son.

While the lake was breathtaking and I longed deeply for healing and refuge being in nature, I still couldn’t bask in the moment. There was a stark contrast — a mocking juxtaposition between the peaceful scenery and the misery that lived in me.

We didn’t hike the whole trail and had to leave because our boy couldn’t, and wouldn’t, listen. He kept walking off ahead of us and inching closer to where he shouldn’t. Rather than enjoying the scenery and hike as a family, my husband and I were filled with stress and anxiety. Everything had become a safety hazard. The battle was constant.

There was nothing left of me in my life that was mine. After becoming a mom, what I needed most was a simple walk in nature, and even then it’s become an impossible feat. While being in nature when I was young meant that I could sense freedom, as a mom now going back there leaves me feeling a sense of hopelessness. So, I broke down and cried at the lookout.

There’s loss in knowing that for the time being, I can’t bridge the two greatest loves of my life: nature and my children. Gaia is very easygoing, so the challenge isn’t there with her. It’s rather with my dear boy. And the most painful part of it all is just the fact that I’d wanted to share this sweet moment with him, but I couldn’t because he wouldn’t let me.

Keaton is a special kid. He’s hyper-intelligent and his problem-solving skills are out of this world, with a brain of a seasoned engineer since his early days. He’s also very kind and feeling. Yet he can also be difficult to a degree that’s humanly unbearable to handle.

Despite the messy parts, there’s not a time when I want to be apart from him. Instead, I long to have him experience life to the fullest with me because we’re a team, and I owe it to him to give him a healthy life of growth and self-awareness.

Proulx Farm

Keaton did better the following days. He knew him and his baby sister were getting their flu shots — I’d prepared him for it — so the morning we went in, he was ready.

Both kids did amazing; neither of them had cried. Keaton was older and knew what was going on, and why. As for baby Gaia, she kept looking at the nurse and smiling while getting her vaccine.

We were so proud of Keaton when he’d told the nurse not to hurt his sister. He’s become so protective of her, which is so reassuring and endearing for my worried heart. He even asked to see our “bobo,” a reflection of worry and concern that’s deeply characteristic of him.

The kids were a bit tired and low-energy following their vaccines, but we still went to a farm because it made us all happy. This was our second visit of the season to Proulx Farm, and again, it was such an adventuresome place to be.

The last time we’d visited, it felt like a hot summer day; now, leaves abound and temperatures are colder.

With the abundance of leaves, I even collected some to put in the kids’ journals.

Gaia’s first time in a pile of autumn leaves!

At the end of our visit, we went to the pumpkin patch to pick our free pumpkins, which was really appreciated, because at this point, the squirrels had already eaten most of the dozen or so pumpkins in our yard.

It was a fun day with the kids, but it was also a confusing and tiring one for me — physically, mentally, emotionally. Funnily, I didn’t even know if I was going to make it through the day alive.

“Something’s off with me,” I told my husband.

Lately, besides the sporadic gushing nose bleeds — only from my right nostril — I’ve also been experiencing whooshing sounds and vibrations in my right ear. The morning of the farm visit, I’d suddenly woken up to intense neck pain that connected to my head, which made it impossible for me to reach out my hand without sharp pain. Later in the day, my tailbone also started hurting — so much so, I was in pain just standing up from sitting position.

Yet, I found myself at the farm. I guess I’m not normal in that regard. Normal people if in pain, rest and take it easy. Me if I’m in pain, I continue on as if nothing’s happening. Maybe that’s how I’ll croak?

“At least it’ll be in nature and I’ll retreat to the other side happily,” I reason.

Sweet seconds

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Rideau Pines Farm

I think this marked our last time strawberry-picking at Rideau Pines Farm, and the moment was magical and just right. We arrived an hour prior to closing time, just as the sun was starting to set.

While we didn’t get to fill our basket this time around as strawberries were very sparse, we were still very lucky to have made it out this late in the season. In fact, they’re one of the only — if not the only — farms that had strawberries available for picking going into fall.

These strawberries are the sweetest I’ve ever had, even the bright red and white-tinted ones. Imagine the deep reds — they’re like candy!

Cannamore Orchard

Keaton excited to go pumpkin picking with his wagon

A longer walk, but we found BIG pumpkins at the farther patch

The addition of a toy shed this year

Gaia enjoyed playing with the farm house toys

Cannamore Orchard holds a special place in my heart, because last year, my parents came along with us — they’d visited many farms with us when I was pregnant — and my mom got stuck in the cow train ride, which made for the most epic laugh of the season. This year, though, we returned with only our family of four (Gaia being the new addition).

Since it was a weekday, they didn’t have their Family Fun Weekend activities running — those happen only on weekends — but we did get to access the whole farm. We went to their pumpkin patch and found some really big pumpkins. Then, we went to the kids’ play area. This year, they’d even added a toy shed — a cute addition.

While it was soul-rejuvenating and peaceful because we were the only ones on the farm — so quiet and serene, in fact, that my husband and I were almost sleep-induced on the spot — I did miss having families around. I know Keaton did, too, because he loves playing with other kids.

I remember handing Keaton his lunch box and opening snacks for him last year, as he was running around and having a blast amid a crowd of kids on a busy weekend day. This year, seeing Gaia with us, already nine months old with five big teeth and playing with toys here, feels like time had just flown by.

I love spotting all their Halloween art displays; they’re so darn cute and fun!

Mackenzie King Estate, Gatineau Park

Side of the Main Building of Mackenzie King’s Moorside Cottage

Garden at Moorside Cottage

William Lyon Mackenzie King is Canada’s 10th and longest-serving Prime Minister, and this Estate in Gatineau Park was his home and pride (now bequeathed to all Canadians to enjoy). It’s amazing how you could see and feel the legacy left behind by him; the gardens and ruins depict his dearest ambitions and romantic nature.

When we visited the Mackenzie King Estate in Gatineau Park last year, it had already been mid-October, so the sight was very autumnal with all the classic oranges, yellows, and reds. As we visited in September this time, much of the sight was still a summery green, not to mention the odd hot temperature.

So many hiking trails abound

Even if the bright autumn colours are an exciting sight to behold in Gatineau Park — it draws an impressive amount of visitors annually — I appreciate the earthy greens just as much. Forests and nature by and large are my home.

Kingsmere Lake next to Kingswood Cottage

Kingswood Cottage

First fall minis

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Always living life dangerously and on the edge

Natural contemplator in his natural habitat

We did something new and spontaneous this evening: we had a professional family photoshoot done for our family! It was a 15-minute fall mini photo session with a local photographer.

While I’ve always wanted to take professional family photos, my husband and I had agreed that it would be something we’d do in the future instead, when the kids are older, given that with little ones the process might be too erratic and challenging, and not to mention, costly.

But something magical had happened spontaneously today: while nursing Gaia I stumbled upon a fall mini session being offered by a local photographer the same day, and without hesitation, I messaged her right away to inquire about an evening shoot.

None of us were expecting a family photoshoot today. I texted my husband, who was working from home, to shower and shave during his last break of the day; and when Keaton woke up, I excitedly told him about our soon-to-be adventure, which, to my surprise, he became excited about when he’d learned about it.

And there we had it: it was decided that that would be our adventure of the evening, and everyone was on board. So, just before my husband finished work at 5PM, I quickly nursed Gaia and did a change of clothes for both her and Keaton. As for myself, all was simple and casual: just my usual black leggings and fall boots, and my signature mustard yellow “April O’Neil” raincoat. (Plus a prayer that I won’t look too dishevelled, like a raccoon who’d been in a street brawl.)

***

I’d never been to the pond and trail that had been selected by the photographer. When we arrived, I was mesmerized by the tranquil sight of the pond and the trees that framed it gracefully. I could also see the photographer finishing up her photoshoot with another client as well, trying to capture orchestrated but authentic, candid moments.

While we did bribe Keaton with a divine donut after the photoshoot, I must say that I’m very proud of how he behaved today. He was cooperative and eager to take part in the photo sessions. He was even affectionate and helpful with his sister. Sure, the donut had its weight, but before I’d even mentioned it, when I told him about an upcoming family photoshoot in the evening, he’d already had a big smile on his face that exuded enthusiasm.

That’s how I knew my son was getting older and more rational, and easier in ways that he wasn’t before: we could now talk to him, explain things (even complex things), and he could understand and cooperate and even give us feedback. He’s grown so much already. It’s even reflected in his relationship with his sister — especially so.

Keaton now accepts Gaia and is very fond of her. In fact, they’ve been playing exceptionally well together lately on their playmat. My momma heart can just burst with happiness. Nothing’s perfect; struggles will always persist. But seeing their bond and love grow is the greatest gift of my life.

***

My husband was afraid that with two little ones a 15-minute session wouldn’t be enough time, but I knew: it was just right. After 15 minutes, our photographer had all the poses she’d needed, and the kids were just about ready to hit the road flying for sweeter pastures. With kids, often times, short and sweet is best.

I, myself, had a great deal of fun. It was our very first professional family photoshoot. As the mom in the family who’s always taking photos of everyone, for the first time, I felt relaxed and taken care of. I was finally in photos and most likely not looking like my head is the size of a planet itself. (I’m usually the one taking failed selfies of our family of four, and as I’m the one holding the camera, naturally from that angle my head looks ginormous.)

I really look forward to seeing the finished, edited photos, especially all our imperfections and candid moments. Regardless of the end product, there’s perfection in our family of four being together in nature, just as fall is starting to poke its charming head out.

***

After our photographer had left, we stayed for a short walk to soak in the sunset and magical atmosphere. These are the photos I’d taken, unedited. I think they turned out quite cute.

***

Thank you to my dear husband who supports me on all my whimsical ideas and adventures. I love that as crazy parents with crazy lives we can still be spontaneous together, and find joy in it.

Farm-hopping

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Abby Hill Farms

Abby Hill Farms is a farm shop that sells locally-produced food, like fruits and veggies, as well as pumpkins during the autumn season. They’d just started adorning their lawn with pumpkins galore when we visited the last few times.

My favourite go-to there is their sweet corn. We’ve had the pleasure of tasting sweet corn from many local farms, and so far, their sweet corn is the tastiest. Gaia loves it, too, especially now that she has five shiny white enamels (she likes to gnaw on the cob).

Ferme l’Eco des Champs

Ferme l’Eco des Champs is a local ecological, agrotourism farm situated in Gatineau, Quebec, about a half hour drive from Ottawa. (The drive on the Quebec side is always scenic and refreshing.)

It was our first time there, and upon arrival, I noted just how cohesive and natural life there felt. The owner and her small team were hard at work; and after she came by for a quick hello and welcome, we were off exploring autonomously. I really appreciated the feeling of being a trusted guest in her home — it felt communal.

What’s neat about this farm is that they have a trust system in place, where customers are welcome to buy products in the shed without any employee to perform the transaction (they’re busy farming!). There’s a sheet where customers write down the products and their prices, a cash box to leave the money, and a device to scan debit and/or credit cards.

Gaia enjoyed observing all the animals, while Keaton was busy feeding the chickens. There was a tiny piglet here that was so stinkin’ adorable! Small it may be, but slow it wasn’t.

When we visited, they were working on a labyrinth made of at least a few hundred hay bales. Keaton had a blast running off and climbing on the hay bales, and hiding in all the nooks and crannies. As for me, I nearly broke my old age hips in the process of chasing him.

They also had fields of blooming flowers and harvested produce, all of which were ecologically grown. You can even subscribe to their different baskets of produce over the course of a period or more.

Perth, Ontario

Stewart Park

Not exactly a fall activity per se, but we drove to Perth the other day — just an hour outside Ottawa. We’d done many day trips outside Ottawa in the past, many of which had directed us on the highway. But to my surprise, the drive to Perth passed through the countryside!

It was magical and relaxing looking out the window the whole ride. The kids were deep asleep, too, so the quiet atmosphere made the experience all the more serene. My husband joked that perhaps we should do more trips to Perth in the future, if only for the scenic drive and to be able to converse and think (and have silence).

Perth Chocolate Works

Choosing some chocolates with Keaton’s “help”

The Code’s Mill

After we grabbed a little box of chocolates to share, we went to Stewart Park to sit on a bench and enjoy them together as a family. Keaton ate most of the chocos of course, since he’d asked to taste everything. But I was still a happy momma, sitting in nature and seeing my family enjoy life, even in all its imperfections.

While the drive to Perth took an hour, we’d spent a mere two hours or so there. We’d left later in the day — it’s hard to leave early with two little ones — so we didn’t have much time to spare.

After our little chocolate experience at Stewart Park, we ended up continuing on a walk around the downtown area. It was a short walk and there was much we’d missed, like the cheese and donut shop. But, my husband and Keaton did get to enjoy a visit to a local bookstore.

So little time to explore, but it was still a lovely outing. As parents now, our expectations and priorities have shifted: we do what we can, when we can, and the best we can.

Courges & Cie

Courges & Cie is an agrotourism farm in Gatineau, Quebec that harvests, as its name suggests, squashes and pumpkins (of hundreds of varieties). They also have a U-Pick subscription service where their clientele can pick their own fruits and vegetables directly from the field.

Before heading out to the pumpkin patch, we first tried their infamous wood-oven pizza that many customers have raved about. Even if I prefer the traditional greasy, cheesy species, I must say that this pizza was pretty delectable.

Their other infamous eat: the pumpkin donut

I picked up a few kabocha squashes (Japanese squashes) for myself and my parents, too. When cooked, they’re soft and exceptionally sweet, as if a pumpkin and a sweet potato had done the hanky-panky, and then had a baby.

They’re also densely packed with nutrients, so they’re perfect for Gaia’s eating regimen, especially as a puree or mashed. (In my motherly dreams she eats them, but in reality, she mashes them and windshield wipers them to the floor.)

I’d learned about kabocha squashes from my parents, who’d buy them often, and either steam them or make Khmer pumpkin-coconut custard dessert with them.

Their tent with all the pumpkin and squash varieties in the world

We picked a pumpkin from their pumpkin patch before heading home, but rather than the romanticized autumn moment, it was quite the sweaty summer day.

Valleyview Little Animal Farm

Puppet theatre

I wish I’d taken more photos of the farm itself — I’d taken mostly videos of the kids — because this farm is very dear to me. It was the first farm that Keaton had visited by car when we lived at our old apartment.

Back then, we didn’t have a car, so Keaton was limited to activities around our abode. It was only when my sister (Auntie Mel Mel) would visit us from Montreal, that he’d go on car adventures around Ottawa with her. He still has very fond memories of sitting in his car seat and eating snacks.

This farm was the first we’d visited with my sister. Now, being back here on our own, with our own car and a house we own, feels many years away from what was once a crippling challenge in our lives. And I feel immensely grateful, more than I could ever express.

This time at the farm, Keaton is much older and taller (without the little hair curl at the back of his neck). He also has a baby sister accompanying him, who was fascinated by the puppet show and all the animals.

This is where daddy and Gaia had shared a sweet moment observing alpacas together. Gaia was enchanted, of course.

Bruno had taken a photo of these two lovebirds, which, according to him, is a metaphor of us.

Proulx Farm

The entrance to the farm that I sweetly recognized from last year

This year, we were back for another round of Proulx Farm’s Pumpkin Fest. At this time of year, their farm is transformed into a giant pumpkin and Halloween-themed haven of fun.

Their iconic pumpkin stack

This year, Gaia is here with us, whereas last year she was in my belly!

Seeing the wall of pumpkins reminded me of my parents and last year’s trip (I was pregnant with Gaia). They came along with us and had a spooky good time for two elderly people. I missed them dearly on this trip and wish we’d had just one more seat in the car.

Gaia amongst pumpkins at Proulx Farm at 9 months old

Proulx Farm has everything fun for families during the fall season. It has different playgrounds with play structures and toys; it has a petting farm; it has a pumpkin patch and a corn maze; and it has tractor rides and Halloween displays, among other activities (they have more on weekends).

My favourite activity there is their wagon ride that took us along a long trail in the “Mysterious Forest” to see all the cool, spooky displays for Halloween. We all enjoyed our time, with Keaton excitedly pointing at different hidden displays in admiration and awe, and Gaia entranced by the serenading movement of the wagon.

Hay bales of animals

Character hay bales and a haunted house

I really admired all the Halloween displays on the trail and on the farm itself. It was a creative touch that added so much life and fun. The staff deserve all the appreciation, as much time, effort, creativity, and dedication had been involved in making Pumpkin Fest a spooky, fun zone for all. We even received free pumpkins that we were able to pick from the patch ourselves at the end of our visit, as part of our Pumpkin Fest package.

The highlight of autumn for me so far is being back at Proulx Farm, where fond memories had been curated last year, and where, going forward, we’ll always be visiting as a family of four. I’m hoping to visit a second time in October, when the temperature is chilly and crisp, and the leaves have changed colours.

Autumn came early

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I know that autumn is actually a few weeks away, but in my heart of hearts, as soon as September 1st hits, it’s already autumn. For me, it’s a feeling of change, rather than a mark on a calendar or a change in temperature or colours.

Autumn is my favourite season, not only for its natural beauty, but especially for the essence and wisdom the season brings. It shows us the fleeting cycles of life and moments; it reminds us that there’s a time to do and be busy, and a time to stop and retreat; and it teaches us that in the end, there must be balance in nature and in the universe, just as there must be balance in our individual psyches and selves. As an introspective person, I appreciate how autumn ultimately leads me back home to myself.

Lately, I’ve been finding bliss in decorating our home and in doing little art projects with my husband. As insanely busy parents with very little time and rest, going out on dates has become a faraway dream. Nevertheless, I really love our quiet moments at home together when the kids are asleep. Actually, I prefer these more than anything. Presence is the ultimate sublime gift.

Paintable projects from Dollarama

My spoooky haunted house

My husband’s dancing skeletons

The other day, my husband had found some paintable Halloween-themed art projects at Dollarama. We painted them together the same night, and I had a great deal of fun. No skill or expertise was involved — just enthusiasm, will, and concentration.

It was a simple little project, but I was still proud of our work, because when I look at our Halloween art boards, I feel that I’d had the most peaceful time in a long time. And it didn’t take much. In fact, it was the most amazing date night, for only $4 or so a piece.

Pick-your-own produce at Rideau Pines Farm!

Luscious tomatoes in their tomato field

Strawberry field

The sweetest strawberries I’ve ever tasted!

Raspberries

My husband had a spontaneous week-long vacation, so another simple activity we’ve been enjoying are mini road trips. Since going on vacation and travelling isn’t feasible for us right now, we do mini vacations instead, which may consist of road trips to a nearby town, suburb, or city. And especially to farms.

I think we spend most of our time at farms. I’m not sure if it’s my tickling dream of living in the countryside and being self-sufficient — I’m aware that it’s difficult and that hard work, resources, and dedication are involved — or if farms are simply my happy getaway place. Whatever the case, I’m happiest there, and the kids as well.

Since Keaton loves tractors and construction vehicles, farms have always been a good source of education for him (of course he’s swayed by their play structures and toys, too). He’s also been appreciating picking his own fruits and veggies there. In fact, he’d always get so excited when we’d tell him our plan of the day was to go to a farm.

Recently, we’d spontaneously stumbled upon a farm — Rideau Pines Farm — that offered a variety of pick-your-own options. They had both fruits and veggies to pick! I was in absolute awe, as I didn’t know there was a farm where we could pick our own produce. It tends to be the case that pick-your-own farms offer specific seasonal fruits only.

Rideau Pines Farm was heaven-sent. They had a myriad of produce to pick: garlic, kale, tomatoes, strawberries, raspberries, currants, peppers, you name it. The day we went they offered pick-your-own tomatoes, peppers, strawberries, and raspberries. Friends, their strawberries were the sweetest babes on this earth! Did they spray sugar water?

Despite the random downpours — I’d managed to pick only a few raspberries before we had to go — and violent gangs of mosquitos, I was in my happy place. Not only was everything healthy, but there was something deeply spiritual for my soul to be picking my own food from its source — it had felt like I was one with nature rather than a mere consumer.

Pumpkin patch at Fallowfield Tree Farm

Gaia was fascinated by the black cover and all the overlapping dirt and leaves

Keaton was really adamant about picking this lil pumpkin

We also did something naughty: we went to a pumpkin patch! It’s still early in the season, and most farms don’t open their pumpkin patches until mid- or late-September, but Fallowfield Tree Farm was very kind to have welcomed us with such warmth when we gave them a dingle.

We were very lucky. In fact, when we’d driven by the their fields the day prior, I was just telling my husband how this very pumpkin patch was already looking plump and invitational, and what a bummer it would’ve been if they’d kept it hidden and inaccessible until their grand opening day like other farms.

Lo and behold, this lovely farm didn’t withhold the love. They were the most easygoing, kindred, heartwarming folks I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. It’s funny how the universe works. The day prior, I’d looked at the pumpkin patch longingly as we drove by, and the day after, there we were, spontaneously picking pumpkins.

Bonnie was a gem. She had the bouncy castle ready for Keaton by the time we’d finished our time at the pumpkin patch. We had no clue that she was preparing this treat for us. He was her special little guest of the day. We were all her special guests — she’d sent us home with corn, too. My motherly heart almost exploded with gratitude. I couldn’t thank her enough.

Something I’ve been very grateful for as well is our backyard, which I’ve recently transformed into a little oasis. I love the string lights; they make the space cozy and magical. This is thanks to my husband who’d spent time making it just right for me (even in the heavy downpour).

This year, I’ve added mums and pumpkins again. I hope my mums don’t die on me, and that squirrels won’t eat my pumpkins like last year (we’d added white vinegar around them, so, fingers crossed). The addition of scarecrows and Halloween characters also set the tone for an autumn-y and Halloween-y vibe.

There’s a bit of all of us in our yard: there’s the punching bag that belongs to my husband, the mums and flowers that belong to me, and the playhouse and general toys that belong to Keaton. As for Gaia, the trees are very much her muse. I love that it tells a story of us all.

Stalking turkeys

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We’re blessed to live in the city and to have access to nature just a short drive away from our home. Lately, we’ve been exploring different trails nearby, which I hadn’t discovered until recently.

Walking through the woods has always been my favourite hobby or getaway; and now, more than ever, I’ve been needing its healing effect. So we’ve been taking these walks a few times a week, especially when temperatures are mild. It’s done me so much good so far.

Keaton’s been loving these winter hikes, too, especially looking out for birds, squirrels, and other little critters. It’s so cute to see how curious and excited he gets, and how he loves sitting on daddy’s shoulders during our walks. His big, happy smile makes my heart full.

My heart is complete during these simple moments. Carrying my sweet Gaia against me whilst walking alongside my son and husband in nature — there’s no happier place on earth.

PS. We came across two wild turkeys. I’d just noticed how beautiful they are — their colourful and shiny fur coat. Funnily, farther along the trail, they snuck up right behind my husband, just as he was taking a photo of us. Not sure if they were gangster turkeys trying to gang up on us.

Past meets present

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Mackenzie King Estate

Fall Rhapsody in Gatineau Park is a must-see during the autumn season. Leaves have changed colours and autumn is in full essence — it’s a magnificent sight to behold.

The last time I’ve been to Gatineau Park was, I believe, in autumn of 2014. I’d met with an outdoors hiking group in Ottawa — yes, with strangers who were really kindred spirits — and together, we embarked on a hiking adventure in the beautiful Gatineau mountains. It had been a long time since I’ve last stepped foot there, and my soul’s been yearning this familiar and comforting — as well as healing — experience.

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of tracing my footsteps to the past. We drove up to the Mackenzie King Estate part of Gatineau Park. This Estate was home to Canada’s 10th and longest-serving Prime Minister, William Lyon Mackenzie King, who’d later gifted his well-loved property to all Canadians. Today, and for many years, it’s become an attraction to many guests, loved for its aesthetic and historical value.

I haven’t been to the Mackenzie King Estate in particular since I was a pea size of about maybe five or six years old. I remember the photos of my childhood trip, but being back in person didn’t feel as nostalgic as I thought it would — it seemed rather unfamiliar. For my parents, on the other hand, they remembered their visit fondly. It warmed my heart to be able to bring them back here.


I love me a photo of myself walking in an abundant pile of leaves.


At eight months pregnant, walking long distances has become challenging, for I feel all kinds of pains and discomforts. Even moving at all is a challenge (imagine a whale trying to flip over in bed). I missed my stamina and energy at this very moment, because hiking has always been my favourite activity; and more than ever, I felt the limitations of my own body.

The sound of the water here was most peaceful. Keaton loved touching the water. He spent some time here with his grandpa, Kong-Kong.

Here goes our little explorer, again trying to discover, dismantle, and/or build something. It was a tender feeling to be back here after so many decades away — this time with a child of my own — and to see him enjoy being in nature so much. It was also, however, a difficult experience.

After many years away from the woods, coupled with motherhood, I had a deep yearning for solitude, reflection, and rejuvenation — and almost painfully so. But with my energetic toddler, moments like these have become rather rare, or if existent, full of disconnect. We all need moments to ourselves — and to varying degrees — but for myself, a solitary being at my core, this pain of lack is felt almost tenfold. I missed being alone in the woods, with only silence and shuffling leaves for company. In essence, I missed myself.

Keaton is such a kind-hearted kid, who’s so full of imagination, will, and compassion. And I love that he’s able to enjoy the little things in life: flowing water, colourful leaves, branches with which to create stories. Watching him walk through the woods — and yes, even running off and driving us bonkers — was very meaningful. When I look at this photo, despite the imperfections and fatigue of life, I see home: my son and nature.

Being back at Moorside on the Mackenzie King Estate brought about an “a-ha” moment. It was then that I remembered my childhood visit here, because I recalled the yellow houses where I took photos with my parents and our family friends at the time. I made sure to take a photo of my parents here during this visit, because it was also a past-meets-present experience for them.

I adored the architecture of the home and getting a glimpse of Mackenzie King’s aesthetic tastes and personality. The English cottage look and feel was simple yet elegant. It was neat to learn that it was also a venue where King had held meetings with other political figures — his countryside home a true source of pride.

My heart can be at peace now, for this year, I’ve had the opportunity to visit Gatineau Park in the fall — a dear place of mine — and to share this memory with my family.

Pumpkin patch dreams & nature’s healing

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This past weekend, we ventured to the Gatineau, Quebec side for a farm adventure. Having grown up in Ottawa but spent much of my childhood crossing the bridge with my parents, driving there again — with my own family this time around — after decades, was very reminiscent of old times. I loved the drive there. There’s something relaxing about the Aylmer side of Gatineau. All the nature and trees… it was incredibly scenic and calming.

When we arrived at Potager Eardley, I noted just how busy it was. It was buzzing with human bees. There was beauty in the farm’s simplicity, which I appreciated. There was just enough to keep kids and families entertained and smiling. There was a simple playground, some farm animals, and the shop where one could purchase fresh fruits and veggies, fall decorations, and baked goods as well as coffee. We ordered a waffle with fruits and whipped cream for Keaton, which he — and ultimately, we — enjoyed greatly.

An activity that we did was apple picking. We embarked on the tractor wagon to the apple orchard, and upon arrival, I noted how the apples just adorned the trees like fall ornaments. There was an abundance of apples. While we all enjoyed apple picking, the experience was really dedicated to my mom, who finds the utmost joy in the activity. As soon as she hopped off the wagon, she was off on her own solo adventure filling her bag. It was a funny and cute sight to see her enjoy something so much. (It’s rare to see my mom do anything fun or for herself, so these moments are very meaningful.)

Mom’s bag was filled with Gala apples (her pick), and oh boy, were they ever crisp, juicy, and scrumptious! I don’t think I’ve ever had a Gala apple that fresh. Keaton also enjoyed an apple or two whilst running around the orchard and being playful. It was so sweet to see him hanging by Mama’s side while she was picking apples. He adores her so much, as well as his Kong-Kong. Following our apple picking adventure, we ventured back to the farm to embark on another adventure: pumpkin picking at the pumpkin patch, at the farm’s second location.

We were about to leave when Keaton wanted to stay back and play at the hay bales. There were plenty of kids there, and that’s where he met his new friend, David, who was a bit older than he was. At this point, being pregnant and tired, I’d waited in the car with my mom, while my husband and dad stayed out with Keaton. According to my husband, Keaton had had a blast running around with the older boy, who was so smitten with him he’d call him, “baby, baby!” I’m not sure what it is — perhaps it’s his charisma and confidence — but older children tend to gravitate towards Keaton, and vice versa. For some reason, they just love playing with him. It’s so endearing to watch.

Finally, we drove to the farm’s pumpkin patch, which was located only five minutes from the main farm by car. As we were driving into the parking lot, I was astonished by all the orange pumpkins I saw from afar. I must’ve screeched with excitement many times over. I was so excited to grab a wagon and run off to the fields. It was the most magical autumn sight I’d ever witnessed my whole life.

I’ve always wanted to go to a pumpkin patch ever since I was young. I just never had the opportunity, because without a car and without those around me who could venture far, it just wasn’t feasible. Finally, years later, I found myself at one; and it was the most dreamy pumpkin patch I could’ve ever imagined. There were thousands of pumpkins — an endless sight to behold — that were scattered geometrically to perfection in their chaos.

So far, I’ve been disappointed by the pumpkin patches at farms I’ve visited in Ottawa. The pumpkins in the pumpkin patches were either scarce, or there was just a display of pumpkins that were pre-picked and laid out in the fields. But this one was real; it really was where pumpkins had been harvested and grown. I may be a serious geek, but I definitely swooned over this pumpkin patch. One could be a mother and still be a big kid at heart, right?

Kong-Ma and Keaton also enjoyed the experience. Mom had picked a few lovely pumpkins, and Keaton and I both chose our own, as well. As we were leaving, my husband also bought a few drinks for Keaton that were in a cute pumpkin bottle. It was apple cider, which I wasn’t aware of. I could see now why Keaton drank both bottles, and why so many people rave over it. I don’t think I’ve ever had apple cider; but when I tasted it, it was so fresh and heavenly. We should’ve bought the jugs!

We’ve got a whole collection of pumpkins that we’ve been collecting from all the farms we’ve visited so far. I love how they add colour and vibrancy to the home. Though, I can’t say for now that we’ll stop there. Maybe our whole house will become a pumpkin patch itself.

For now, we’ve been keeping the pumpkins inside the house. We’d left Keaton’s pumpkins and gourds outside in our backyard once, alongside our mums — it was his wish — but the squirrels and chipmunks ate them! (Keaton’s reaction was hilarious. He was so distraught.) In fact, one day a squirrel came knocking at our door, mayhaps looking for Keaton, whom it knew owns all the good stuff.

My husband and I’s five-year anniversary, and two-year wedding anniversary, is fast approaching. Because we’ll be celebrating Thanksgiving next weekend with my sister and parents — Canadian Thanksgiving happens earlier than its American counterpart — we decided to celebrate our anniversary earlier, and to do a very simple activity: a romantic walk along the Mer Bleue Bog Trail.

As a couple, we rarely have the time to do activities together in the midst of our busy lives. In fact, since Keaton was born — we’re also expecting a second child — we rarely went on a date or had time to ourselves. Thus, we really appreciate simple moments where we can simply be and exist alongside each other, and be present.

The Mer Bleue Bog Trail was a perfect pick for us that day. We ventured in the early morning, so it was still relatively calm and quiet, with very few visitors. We enjoyed the silence most of all, and hearing the trees and plants dancing with the wind’s shake and prod.

We’d stopped here for a short while. While it was a chilly morning, the sun shining directly at us provided us with a natural warm blanket on our skin. This is where I began to cry. It had been years since I last spent time in nature, by myself in solitude or with my dear husband. These were years where I’d felt the most distanced from nature, and ultimately, from myself. Now, I wasn’t with my son, who needed my mind, heart, and soul at every moment. I could finally feel myself feel and think.

Being in this moment allowed me to feel calm and safe. It was a conducive environment to concoct an emotional me. All that had been repressed had no choice but to surface. My husband held me as he encouraged me to let my emotions run their course. I can’t hide from myself when I’m in nature. Nature isn’t easily fooled. It’s a wise teacher. It sees, it invites, it opens, it heals.

I don’t think I’ve seen so many beautiful birds at once. There were blue jays, little black and white chubby birds that would sit on one’s hand (I’m not sure what they’re called), snakes, and numerous chipmunks — at least that my eyes were able to detect. It was my first time seeing a snake in person. It was a baby garter snake. I’d heard rustling in the leaves and thought it was a little chipmunk or frog, only to realize it was a snake! (I’m deathly afraid of snakes, but this little guy was actually, dare I say, cute.)

Our date lasted perhaps an hour or so — we then took off to grab some Montreal style smoked meat that my husband had been craving — but it was the most wholesome date we could’ve asked for. We came home to ourselves and to each other, and ultimately, to our son.

The walk was so neat that we invited my parents to come along to the Bog with Keaton later in the afternoon. Alas, we found ourselves there a second time that day. What a treat in nature it was.

We had to wake up Keaton from his nap in the car, because at that point, my parents had already been on the go. They were having fun without us! Keaton quickly caught up, and when he saw his Kong-Ma from afar, he yelled for them to wait for him. It was so cute.

The whole walk along the boardwalk was surprisingly relaxing with our energetic toddler. He listened well and stayed alongside us, and was a very good sport. We were very proud of him. He also liked to narrate — and police — what he was observing. Such a funny little dude.

Happy Fall & Thanksgiving

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This year’s pumpkin cream cheese bundt cake, which has been Keaton approved.

Happy Thanksgiving! Here in Canada, it’s Thanksgiving weekend. Yesterday, we celebrated with Kong-Ma, and it was a big success. While it wasn’t my first time clumsily patting down and cooking a big bird, it was my first time celebrating Thanksgiving and hosting it myself. (My first exposure to turkey, and naturally, to panic itself, was a few years ago, when we hosted a traditional turkey supper for the meeting of my parents and in-laws on New Year’s Eve.) I’m quite proud of myself. I spent a whopping day in the kitchen — thank you to my husband who took Keaton outside so that I could cook — and even spared some time to clean the floors before Kong-Ma’s arrival. Everything was cooked and prepared on time — and just as Keaton-ai was starting to get hungry for supper after having played and laughed so much with his grandparents.

And there they were on our rustic wooden table, reminiscent of past celebrations: a juicy turkey fresh out of the oven, buttery mashed potatoes and carrots, broccoli, some gravy and cranberry sauce, and soulful red wine. Plus my all-time favourite autumn bake: pumpkin cream cheese bundt cake. (Between you and me, I completely skipped out on all the traditional pumpkin spices both out of pragmatism and laziness, and instead just used a generous heap of cinnamon and extra pumpkin puree.) It turned out so heavenly and delicious! The texture, the moisture, the shape, the taste. I think it was my best bake so far. It looked like autumn, and felt even more like one of my husband and I’s early dates. “Did you forget the flour?” my husband joked. Keaton had some of the pumpkin cake earlier that afternoon, and he loved it. When he arrived home from his walk with daddy, he kept pointing at it and asking for some. (He has an eye for the good things in life.) I broke off a chunk from the back of the cake for him, and next thing I knew, my little guy was getting first dibs on Thanksgiving dessert. (Shhh, no one knew that that part of the cake was broken or could see the back, anyway.)

Kong-Ma had a good time. Mama especially enjoyed her red wine and rum and coke, as well as all her turkey bones and innards. When you come from a family like ours, you’re aware that if it’s part of an animal, it’s fair game. All is edible and delectable. We know Mama had a good time when her eyelids were beginning to retire down yonder, her cheeks were becoming rosy, and she was laughing more than usual. (I’m laughing as I write this, because we all know how serious and militant my mom is.) Keaton also enjoyed his Thanksgiving meal and had a good time. It’s as if he was aware that it was a special meal and occasion that we were celebrating. I also appreciate that Thanksgiving supper always means leftovers to share with loved ones, and to enjoy ourselves the following day. Today, hearing my husband express just how scrumptious the meal is, brought me all the joy in the world.

While Thanksgiving was already plentiful and joyous, the cherry on top of the day was a surprise visit from my brother and his family. After one and a half years, I finally had the chance to see my nieces again. It felt surreal. The last time I hugged them was the night that we brought Keaton home from the hospital. So much time was lost. I didn’t get to watch them grow — kids, and especially pre-teens, grow and change a lot in a year — and they didn’t get to witness or hold their baby cousin, Keaton, either. I felt grateful and elated to see them, even if it was a short visit of a few minutes. It was also heartbreaking that Keaton cried — both for him and for them. Of course he cried. It had been over a year since he was born, and he didn’t recognize them, who, to him, were masked strangers. It was an unfamiliar sight. Yet there was peace in having my son and my beloved nieces finally meet. And for me, I felt like a proud aunt. I could see that my nieces were growing to be intelligent, mindful, and loving ladies.

Thanksgiving was one of the most heartwarming days I’ve had in a long time. There’s a boiling volcano within me, to be sure, and life is filled with challenges for us — and more so than ever — but we have each other and we’re surrounded by love, support, and abundance. I’ve always appreciated the little fleeting moments in life, and it’s still true for me today as a grown woman with a family of my own. This is why moments like these — eating food for which I’m grateful, spending time with my family and in nature, and loving and being loved — are enough to sustain me. I’d even argue that these, as well as purpose, really are the only pillars that we need as a human species to survive and thrive.

Serene foggy morning, and an eye candy at that.

These days, I feel my soul longing to reconnect with nature. In a way, I’m glad we’ve been experiencing constant mind-numbing construction noise and explosives next to us, even if they’ve made life for us unbearable, especially with a toddler. Our mental health has also taken a deep dive. Life is bizarre these days, to say the least. It’s as if we have a home and don’t at the same time. Yet there’s beauty in adversity. While it feels as though we’re escaping our home every day — and there’s pain in that, because it’s supposed to be our safe haven — it’s also, in essence, a blessing. We get to go out and breathe in the morning fresh air and feel the crisp autumn breeze against our cheeks, all before the streets are filled with the scurry of morning traffic. We were lucky one morning. When we exited our abode, we were greeted by fog — the most beautiful I’d ever seen, and it was even more sightly by the lake. Just the sight of it was enough to make me feel some calm and healing in my heavy heart. It felt good to be alive, healthy, and able.

The fog continued along our morning walk, or, shall I say, we accompanied the fog on its morning delight.

Have autumn leaves been tickling your feet where you are? Where we live, it’s taken quite some time for the leaves to transform into their majestic reds, oranges, and yellows. I’m unsure if it’s just me, or if this year autumn really is taking its time. It’s only recently, right at Thanksgiving, that we’ve really begun to see the true spirit of autumn. And what a sight. I can’t wait for more, and to splash around with leaves like a kid all over again. The first time I had this much fun with leaves under a tree — almost like an excited teacup puppy, if you will — was on my husband and I’s first wedding anniversary, which was a few days before Thanksgiving. My son studied me curiously and then joined in on the fun, and in his spirit of support, dropped a leaf in my hair. In retrospect, rather than celebrate our special day, we simply acknowledged and honoured it. With a demanding toddler and fits of tantrums, our only goal that day was to survive. Funnily, life for us has become so raw and unedited, that, what’s become romance to us, is equipping ourselves with shields and armours against our son, our most beloved arch-nemesis, and resuscitating each other back to life in the battlefield. (That’s about as much lip action as we’ll get. That’s also love, commitment, and unity.) We’ve learned that we’re not entitled to special days — life doesn’t work that way — but it’s up to us to choose the road of least resistance, which, in essence, is presence itself and gratitude.

Our Halloween gingerbread house! Featuring Keaton-ai’s stickers. Always gotta have stickers with me.

Now, we’re looking forward to Halloween. We already have our stash of chocolates and candies ready for the 31st, and have even begun our nightly marathons of horror films that my husband chose for us. I can’t wait for us to all dress up as the “Bat Family” in honour of Batman. Keaton will be “Baby Bat,” of course. He looks so stinkin’ cute in his costume — all those baby muscles! Hopefully, my husband and I will also have some downtime to ourselves. If our wedding anniversary wasn’t on our side, hopefully Halloween will be. It’s us, after all.

Sweet processions

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Nostalgic summer dinners with Mom and Dad, and celebrating a surprise early birthday for Mom; roaming about the city on foot in the summer sun, with the Ottawa Race Weekend and annual community garage sale event for sweet company; returning to my happy place at Jo’s, and enjoying a maple scone at my usual spot by the window, whilst people-watching; and finally, lots and lots of flowers wherever I tread. Happiness, joy, and butterflies like childhood’s excitement and zest for life.

Suddenly, I fell in love with Ottawa — longing to stay, at least for a little longer. It took just the sight of enchanting blooms, the quiet, familial and happy atmosphere of the city, and smiling passersby roaming the streets, basking in the sun with loved ones, to make me wish I could live in my once-upon-a-time-ago city again — absence and fondness playing the Trickster.

What was important became increasingly clear. Daily inhalations and exhalations were wrapped with an unforgiving noose of ‘doings’ and ‘go-gettings’; goals had to be achieved, and a vision for the future awaited its timely fruition. Yet, time and time again, spending time with those I loved most, trumped the most wondrous of worldy possessions and milestones. Now, and only now, with love, appreciation, and gratitude.