Keaton did something new: he went to visit his uncle’s/my brother’s house in Montreal. Twice so far this summer, even! This was a big event for him because he’d never visited his uncle’s home since he was born, even if he was born in Montreal and my brother lives there. He was a pandemic baby who’d only known our home and his grandparents’ (his Kong-Ma’s) home. These were the only two homes that he’s ever had the opportunity to step foot in, in the three years of his life.
For us, it felt surreal to be back in Montreal after having moved to Ottawa in 2021. We missed it immensely, and we knew for certain: if the cards had aligned for us, we’d move back there in a heartbeat. Montreal has its vivacious vibes, and art and culture scene, that can’t be beat. That’s a long conversation to be had, of course. But alas, the precious moment wasn’t for us. It was reserved for Keaton, and seeing him experience a new home environment for the first time.
He adored being at his uncle’s house. A social kiddo, he loved being around his older cousins and hanging out — or causing trouble, really — with their doggy, Snow. While his cousins are much older than him and had exams to study for, it was endearing to see them interacting and playing with him. I was wildly amused at the scene of a little tornado causing a ruckus, whilst two teenagers wished for peace and quiet in their want to teen.
The highlight for Keaton was seeing his uncle’s motorcycles and garage full of tools. He was in for a lucky surprise, for his uncle had a mega sportbike and motorcycle collection that would entertain him well into the next full moon. We, especially my brother, were in such awe of the little dude, and how fascinated he was by all the gadgets. He felt and looked like a mini adult in his calculated movements.
Keaton was so steadfast in his desire to help build motorcycles and “fix” parts. He was highly focused and in tune with the tasks at hand, and his attention to detail was impressive. His problem-solving skills are born from his bottomless well of creativity. It takes a lot for me to gauge his response or attention; but if he’s interested in something, oh boy, is he ever invested.
He was sad to return home of course, but being the fair and understanding kid that he is, he accepted that it was time. Thus, he went around to give everyone a kiss and say thank you, which was later followed by ensuring that his little sister was wrapped up safely in her car seat, and that she had her toys. Keaton is a private individual, and kindness in him is seen in the microscopic actions rather than in the grand gestures, for which I hold deep adoration.
Another first for Keaton was attending a carnival. I remember loving these when I was a kid, most namely our local Super Ex and all the fun rides that took place in Little Italy during the Italian Festival, and how much fun they were to little me. I imagined the same for him.
Indeed, for his first time, he sure had a fantastic time. I was surprised that he didn’t fuss or cry on the rides. He was actually much braver and more confident than I’d anticipated. He loved going on the moto ride most of all (of course paying homage to his experience at his uncle’s).
Strawberry picking at Millers’ Farm & Market
It was our first time strawberry picking, too, this summer. We went early on in the strawberry season, so we were blessed with a patch all to ourselves, with all the ripe and juicy strawberries in the world. Keaton had a lovely time picking and eating strawberries. Gaia also enjoyed sitting her little bum on the ground and exploring the textures of her surroundings. She made a funny face when I fed her a strawberry. I guess she found it sour.
Blueberry picking at Proulx Farm
Gaia squeezing out all the juices to her heart’s content
We also picked blueberries. Although we did it later in the blueberry season, blueberries were plentiful and luscious at Proulx Farm. Some were sweet; others were tart. But the experience was lovely. I was happy to see the kids doing their usual ritual: Keaton picking and eating blueberries, and Gaia sitting on the grass exploring.
This time, Keaton sat next to Gaia for photos — a rarity. He even fed her a blueberry (or at least tried to, because even if she looked at him with such endearment in her eyes, she still tightly closed her mouth). Their relationship has gotten better, I must say. While she’s always loved her big brother since the beginning — she’s always looked at him with such admiration — he’s always been closed off from her. I’m happy to say that he’s been coming around recently.
Keaton exploring gigantic dinosaurs at “The Lost Kingdoms”
Gaia playing in the sand at 7 months old
Nothing is easy. It feels like challenges keep multiplying in a myriad of ways. There’s no break or breath to be caught. We’re struggling and deeply exhausted. But what saves us — or at least me — are the little moments in life with our kids: going to local parks, exploring a new dinosaur exhibit in town, going to farms to pick berries or do kids’ activities, driving Keaton to see his best friend, going to waterparks, spending time with family, and watching Gaia eating well and sharpening all facets of her development, amongst others. I live for these.
I’ve already written what feels like a book on Keaton here. But Gaia, allow me to inform you, is the best. She really is. She’s easygoing, sweet and sassy, social and curious, and she gives the best kisses and cuddles in the world. Her kisses are the equivalent of her eating our faces. I still can’t believe she’s already seven months old, already eating solids and eating so well. She’s itching to crawl and stand, too. Where has time gone? She’s so full of life and personality.
Keaton and Gaia are two yin and yangs in my life. They’re opposites in many ways. Now that I have two children — two vastly different ones — I can say with knowing that just as I’d suspected in the early days, Keaton is indeed different, whereas Gaia is like most easygoing babies. I’m in awe that I have a baby that actually sits and plays with her toys. (Keaton had never been able to do that since he was born.) While my boy has been my difficult one, I have the utmost respect for him because he’s my teacher. Gaia, on the other hand, is my healer.
I find myself wanting to hold on to her for dear life. She’s my youngest baby, a little girl, who feels, to me, to be the most vulnerable. And she holds the power of healing for my family and I, for she carries the name of my eldest sister, who’d passed away at the age of three during the Khmer Genocide. I had no idea how grave the trauma in me had been, until I became pregnant with Gaia. I found myself wanting to physically run away throughout my pregnancy to escape the pain. To shut my ears from the visceral noise in my head. To scream loud enough to set the world on fire. To turn myself off.
But when Gaia came into the world, all was oddly silenced. I’d stopped crying on my sister’s birthday and the anniversary of her death. There was immense closure in knowing that I now had a baby girl, whom I could protect in a way that my sister couldn’t have been protected. I know my sister lives in Gaia and is part of us all. There’s healing in that.
toumemoir 